i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Randomize
