i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
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