did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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