It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
