and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
