Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
