I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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