how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
