How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
