There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
