Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Randomize
