Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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