As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize