Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
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