He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I need a beard to bite.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
