my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize