His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Randomize
