Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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