you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
