After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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