So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
