PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Michael Bay diarrhea
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
