My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
