You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
My dick has a subreddit
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
