i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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