omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Randomize
