are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
