What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
