white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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