At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize