his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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