Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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