this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize
