In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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