I'm really into asian looking animals
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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