I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
