I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize