Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
