we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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