Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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