doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
