her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
