the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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