Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
