I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize