He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
