Christians are straight up FREAKS
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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