i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
meet me or not, i'm out of control
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
