O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
