Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
My vagina is officially offended.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
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