seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
