He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
