How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
