I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
operation harelip BJ is a go
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
