plz talk dirty to me
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
