I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Someone signed my nipple.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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