no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
