butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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