Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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