Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize