I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
