I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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