I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
