i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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