I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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