I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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