If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
this hospital has no fireball
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
