Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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