Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
