OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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