He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
